


Pressing Her Buttons

by oOoElvenGloryoOo



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Elven Glory, F/M, Short One Shot, Skyhold (Dragon Age)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-25 20:09:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18268505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oOoElvenGloryoOo/pseuds/oOoElvenGloryoOo
Summary: More Skyhold secrets uncovered. Cole being Cole.





	Pressing Her Buttons

  Sera tiptoed down the hallway, quietly opening the door to the Inquisitor's quarters. Cole followed a short distance behind, whispering "Sera, he knows. Give the key back".

   Throwing back the covers from the ornate Orlesian bed, she poked the Inquisitor hard, right in the ribs. "Pssst. Inquisi-tits. Wake up. You have to see this."

  That did the trick. The Inquisitor sat up, rubbing her side in pain. "Ow! Sera, it's the middle of the night. What do you need? How did you get in here?"

  "Stole it. Why does Solas have a key to your quarters, anyway?" Sera held up the key accusingly. 

  Cole replied "She's...so beautiful. Do you like that, vhenan? They have to change the sheets but don't want the maid to see. No one wants to sleep in the wet spot."

  Sera tossed the key at Cole and made a show of wiping her hands clean. "Creepy and gross. Someone make it shut up."

  The Inquisitor scowled to cover her embarrassment. "Just tell me what you need, Sera."

  "Well come on then. Get dressed. Pervert." She motioned for the Inquisitor to follow her.

  "I'm the pervert? You're the one sneaking into a lady's room, you know."   
  
The Inquisitor put a thick robe over her nightgown. The rest of Skyhold was asleep, as she should be right now, so no need to look the part of the chosen one.

  The three of them made their way to the Undercroft. It seemed cold and empty without the banter of Dagna and Harritt. Sera gestured dramatically at the storage chest. "Behold!"

  "It's my storage chest. Get to point. I have a lot of work to do tomorrow." The Inquisitor sighed deeply. This was getting old, fast.

  "You'll be thanking me in a minute, shut it. So your chest right? Didn't these little buttons ever seem fishy to you?" Sera pointed at two small buttons to the right of the latch.

  "Actually, no. They're tiny. I think I assumed they were part of the latch." Curiosity cleared the last of the sleep from her mind.

  Sera continued, picking up a finished sword from Harritt's table. "So I just take this sword, and put it in the chest like normal, right? Then I think real hard about two swords, and close it while pressing those two buttons." She excitedly did just that, then opened the chest again.

  "AND LOOK AT THAT. TWO SWORDS." Sera yelled, holding them up, one in each hand.

  Cole spoke again. "Nothing has value. The economy hurts. The gold is sad. I never knew coins had feelings"

  "This has got to be Solas shit, I just know it. Sitting there, watching us scrape for gold, laughing as he paints." Sera's excitement, tainted with her opinion of the apostate, had turned bitter.  
   
  "Elves are creators, not workers, blah blah blah Elven Glory! Look at the silly Inquisition, working their fingers to the bone, eating boiled nug meat, too stupid to even use a chest right" Sera continued to rant as she duplicated sword after sword, quickly creating a growing pile of expensive blades.

She couldn't help but agree a bit. If anyone knew the secrets of Skyhold, it was Solas. Who knew what else Skyhold held within it's walls.

**Author's Note:**

> I learned about the inventory cheat and bought so many craft supplies from the Black Emporium. Money means nothing to me now. I walk the forests proudly, hundreds of thousands of dollars on my person, wearing the finest clothes, wielding a majestic hand-made staff. I kinda like writing these weird little meta fics. I made this mature for sex jokes, I really wasn't sure what the rating standards were.


End file.
